Short msg:

OMG! I just remember.. I havta friggin wake up at 5.40am later..

damdamdam

I'm so gonna be like a zombie..

Sometimes I hate being the driver. Yet I don't ave a choice.

*~MaeYan~* ♥12:44 AM

Just piece of what I'm thinking now.

Was foolish in believing your every word.
Foolish to doubt a person because of you.
The lies you were telling mounted so high up.
Up to the extend I no longer know which is the truth.
The secrets you kept from me grew each day.
I'm sick of your lies.Sick of your pathetic behaviour.
Sick that everything has to be revolving around you.
In fact,I'm sick of you.

Do you know you disgust me?
To a point where love became hatred.
Where you became a burden.
Where you no longer bring laughter to me.

I wonder how many more lies you said.
I wonder how many fictional person you created.
I wonder how can you be so fickle minded.

I don't hope for your forgiveness.
I don't wish for your love.
All I know is,I've been wrong.
From the moment I believed you.

When your lies slowly unfold before everyone.
I wish to see you fall.
I'm being harsh.Yes,I know.
I wish you fall now.Break and scatter infront of my eyes.

ps: don't simply assume its you kay. ask me if really wanna noe. I'll tell =)

*~MaeYan~* ♥12:11 AM

Alot people would go through period of sadness, but not everyone who is sad suffers from depression.

Below are the signs for depression. Hmm~ I think I was suffering from depression the past few weeks. Why? Well, lets just see how many [yes] to the symptoms kay?


- Poor appetite [yes]

- Inability to enjoy activities that one would previously enjoy doing (anhedonia) [yes]

- Persistent depressed mood, unhappiness and irritability [yes]

- Loss of interest in recreational activity and friends [no]

- Loss of energy and concentration [yes]

- Deterioration in school or work performance [no]

- Drastic weight change [no]

- Disturbed sleep (usually early morning awakening, followed by inability to go back to sleep) [yes]

- Thoughts of worthlessness [no]

- Somatic complaints e.g. headache, abdominal pain [no]

- Erratic mood and behaviour [yes]

- Tempting death (by doing risky activities such as standing on edge of window, driving through red lights) [yes]

- Talking about suicide [yes]

See lahh!! the amount of [yes] above.. *shakes head* I only tau I was sad those few weeks.. Till the extend of not eating AT ALL at times.. haha.. Sad mane ade mood to eat lah -_-"

Suddenly I saw the symptoms of depression.. wahliow.. I stun awhile lehh.. BUT! Its only when over a two-week period of more nia.. I think myne was just 2weeks or so? haha.. I'm back to my usual self anyway..

How I tau?

Simple. Cause I'm smiling like a doofus at times =p (now dun say I'm goin crazee pulak -_-") Actually coz I'm avin the appetite to eat liow.. Even tho not like last time, at least I'm still eatin =) hehe..

Anyway~ I'm off to find lingy.. Said I'll watch tv with her..


*~MaeYan~* ♥9:58 PM

Short msg:

Nana~ next time we deco your lappy kay =D haha..

Ended up going for badminton,sowie baby.. Pwomise liow merh..

Well, knee was pain but bareable =)

Thx Jong alot for not making me run too much.. hehe.. ^^

Chat with Ms.Rozi for an hour or more.. Then chat wif JieJie for another 30mins+..

I did ave fun today actually.. hehe..

Bad news is.. my specs gave up on me =( Its still hangin in der, but barely.. *sniff* my beloved specs for 4years~ Nvm nvm.. 2moro go get it fix xD hehe..

Mich pig bila balik lahh.. brownie cookie hampir habis dee lahh =x

Neway, I'm tired..

Can't wait for 2moro =D hehe..

*~MaeYan~* ♥9:22 PM

Short msg:

The boyfriend just asked me not to go badminton later.

I actually don't feel like going too.

But,I've promised. I can't break promise ryte?

Worst come to worst if the pain unbearable I just stop lorh. =)

ps: I wished baby could have come along. You too banana~ ngam ngam got class pulak f33

*~MaeYan~* ♥11:27 AM

Short msg:

hah! I din injure myself =D

*proud proud*

And the moment I came on9, [big] David wrote me dis '' david happy because he did not injure mae yan "

lols. I'm happy coz I din get injured by david too ;D kekex..

BUT~! Good news end there.

My knee injury is back~ f333

See lahh.. Friday skip frisbee, Saturday skip G-race n frisbee hat.. Juz for nothing. D;

I thought recover dee.. no more pain lehh.. So I went for frisbee today..

At first it was okay.. Really!! No pain lehh.. Then suddenly it just started getting pain T____T

*SOBSSS*

then I continue with drills too.. haha..

Mum's pissed =x
Dad dunno yet.
Baby will be unhappy.

@___@

ps: shud I go for badminton 2moro? my knee is killing me =(

*~MaeYan~* ♥9:26 PM

Short msg:

Going for frisbee later. Pray hard nothing happens =D

I don't wanna get ban from frisbee yet. kekex.

*~MaeYan~* ♥11:20 AM

Short msg:

Suddenly I wish I could smell you.Feel you.Bite you.

I realise for once I'm serious about someone. Not just any random someone. But you.

Right now,my heart is taken by you.

As every second passes, I'm falling deeper in love with you.

You thought me how to care about one another.

Mccall Ong! I love you loads.

I'll always be here when you need me,
just like how you are here when I need you.

ps: sorry ar ppl~ its bit random and cheesyyy..

pps: I nvr really had d chance to thx you. You were the reason I went out with him. Thank you alot.

*~MaeYan~* ♥10:42 PM

I guess I really need to sleep nicely this few days. Feeling too exhausted already lah. Entah why also. Haven't been sleeping well this few days actually. Nope~ I'm not thinking too much or thinking any nonsence. lol!

Its just that getting very sensitive o.o little bit noise and I'll wake up. haha. Nvm nvm. At least like that means alarm ring I'll wake up =D haha!!

Anyway~ today went 1u with nana. We watch thread of destiny and lomantic at the highest row *winkwink* LOL! sedih tau that show. Even though 'one litre of tears' still more chun lah but this also not bad kay. heheee..

Lepak lepak around 1u then drop nana back at KDU. eh dei next time try lah hop balik =D wuakakaka..

I saw this recording thingy super kute. Should I get it? hmm~ Still got time to think whether want buy it anot. lols.

So~ sad news is Jogoya is cancelled BUT SingK on thurs is on. lol. In other words~ I have loads of buy1 free1 Jogoya voucher. Anyone interested? Ask me kay. ^^ ohhh!! but the drawback is.. its expiring on the 30th of April =x So hurry kay~ haha..

Baby should be fall alseep liow. Muuacks~! missing you now.

*~MaeYan~* ♥9:01 PM

You know. I supa good girl liow. Why? Ever since I pwomise I will not drive more than 100kmph, I really never break my pwomise at all. Except twice lah. =x

Once is when going down Bangsar in a hurry, I tercross my 100kmph limit by just probably 1-2kmph? lols.

Second time was when going down Klang,I had to go 110kmph to overtake that car. That driver purposely go faster don't want let me cut. -_-"

So yupz, twice only. Now? Even if I'm not happy, I'll just speed straight to 100kmph then drop back down or stay at that speed. So not me leh? What to do. I just don't want him worry. Everytime I vroom~ sure he don't like geh.

At first, it was because of him I stop going more than 100kmph. I meant because I pwomised him. But later on, I did it for us.

Why? Well, because I had been having this nagging feeling that I might just get myself involve in a car accident. Not just normal kiss-scratch type of accident, but one that I might end up lying in the hospital or dead.

I started being more careful because I don't want to leave just yet. More importantly I don't want to leave him all alone. Plus I pwomise to take care of myself nicely.

Anyway~ I've been thinking alot while driving. lols. I realise I can't bear to leave everyone, seeing them sad or anything. So I'm being a very careful driver now =) BUT! that still doesn't mean others won't get involve with me right? That means IF anything happen. I mean IF only lahh (dun whack me yet) I don't wanna see tears. I mean it. No tears. Especially you baby, you pwomised me =D

So yea~

I don't know why I'm doing this post also =___= it just felt right. Okay~ I think I better stop freaking everyone out. I'm not doing anything stupid lah!! Don't wry kay. lol!

*~MaeYan~* ♥10:07 PM

Hah! I realise I very long never show you guys my face dee.. LoL! So this post shall be only my face! haha.. Dun like dun see lehh.. I noe its ugly~




Told you dun see liow loork.. Ugly lahh..





There! You ave me in different look. 1 day shall put up my lanci look. haha xD



Kenny say I look different in pictures. Pretty. His DIRECTLY saying I'm not in real life T___T *ouch ouch* sad liow lahh. Si WongLai. =p



*~MaeYan~* ♥2:06 PM

♥5:58 PM

hah! I'm back to postin few times a day again -_-

Anyway~ I ended up not duin cookies yesterday. Lingy came home and slept on MY bed!! D; dirty stinky fellar

Guess wud! Lingy got a surprise from her fwenz Quin n Juin today. Actually I ardy knew bout it last nite *grin* haha.. So yea.. Dey took her out for lunch to celebrate her belated birthday bah.. The funniest part is lingy wearin contact lens!! HAHAHAA!! Why? Coz both also Juin help her put on wun!! LOL! i'm so dead when she see's dis

So I woke up early to make the 'brownies crackle-top cookie'. I ended up duin 2 batches. Why? Well~ my dad 'sort of' tell everyone(my relatives) I'm bakin cookie.. He invited dem come makan n minum coffeee.. *shakes head*

I kept up 2 tupperwareee liow.. 1 for the bf another for nana and mich later let the rest cool down I shall go take another for coll mates =D hehe..

Wanna see how it looks likee??



Probably next week I shall try duin chocolate mousse ^^v lingy's sooooo gonna get fat *grinss*

*~MaeYan~*


♥4:05 PM

hey girl~

I know you will be seeing dis one of the day bah. Juz wanna make things clear, juz so dat you understand. The way I post is sacarsm not feelin. Hope you will understand dat perfectly well. Dun luan luan say please~

I ave my own bf to jaga.

Trust him more lah. ishk.

ps: you shud noe he practically loathes me. lets keep it dat way.

*~MaeYan~* ♥10:59 PM

Short msg:

CAT graduation 2009




Anyway~ I wanted to post up more pics.. but but.. either my line sarks or photobucket hates me =( So temporary put 1 pic sin bah.. haha..

ps: I wan go frisbee hat! =(

*~MaeYan~* ♥6:16 PM

Mock exam's are finally over xD time to play? lol! I wish.. Finals comin in 5weeks or so? diedie such joy =D haha..

Anyway, all 3papers really killer lahh T___T sure bad results again wun.. aih aihzz.. No point worryin now tho, will tau in 2weeks time..

So, after exam most of dem when n watch movie in pyramid. I din folo along. lalalaa~ 1st time lehh.. hehe.. guai liow? probably ^^ *angelic* LOL!!


Of coz no lahh.. Wanted 2 see the bf today but he go find fwenz instead.. So nvm lah.. (enjoy yourself ar!! hehe ^^) Den I wanna go frisbee wun.. but but =( I havta let my knee injury recover like 110% before I can play again.. Which means rest rest and more REST! D; No choice lehh.. if not dad ban me from playin totally.. *sobs*

In another words, I havta miss out 2moro's 'Sunway Amazing G-race' sad liow looorh..

That wasn't my point actually.. The point was since bf not free, I'm not feelin dat well also, I decided to come home instead =D (granma shock I'm home so early -_- ) and ditch my fwenz instead.. Sowie ppl =(

Next week Jogoya still on? Wed or Thurs kay =D

So yea.. I wanted to bake cookies so make the bf jeles =p

Note the WANTED?
Yea.. hahaha.. I ended up searchin for more recipesss *grinsss* I'm dyin to try dem out liow.. wuakakakakaaa~~
Especially dis 'chocolate chip meltaway nuggets' and 'brownie crackle-top cookie' *drools* soundss gud kay.. hehe.. I'm juz short of 1 or 2 ingredients.. Shall go get them later.. wud to do~ Giant n Tesco SUPAAAA near..

Nana you wan soomeee?? =DDD (*sshhh* dun tell mich =x)

Ohyea, lil update on yest. After law paper I wanted to come home n sleep (nearly fell asleep duin law =_=") see got wanted again.. lol! I ended up duin smtg else and later on went out to watch movie wif the bf. Came back feeling tooo tired to staD BUT I got staD bit hor.. ;p

Watch Sniper. Hmm~ not bad bah dat show.. Only thing I really sibehbushuangedisonpunyalancilook find edison lanci look abit too over.. Make me wan slap him nia =X haha..

So yea~

Now I shall go get my precious oi oi ^^v

tataaaa~

ps: baking cookieeeee laterrr

*~MaeYan~* ♥2:48 PM

Short msg:

We literally 'kissed' and make up. LoL. Yeap yeapz.

So yea. Was suppose 2 staD law last nite ended up kissin away.

No complains der~ lol

Juz dat I'm screwed a gonner 2moro. @___@

ps: Ms.Rozi really meant it when she say she gonna fail us in mock T___T

pps: I'm still not happy wif u inteferin. Hence I decided not 2 delete dat post. Juz in case you come n see =D

*~MaeYan~* ♥7:20 PM

You've got it ryte. Its non of your biz seriously. I don't wanna be mean to you again. Call me whatever all you wish. I won't care dis time round. I've got enuf of it ardy from you. You were my accesory. I realise dat. And yes! I've found a fault in you and dump you. Happy? Now hate me more kay. Hate me so much dat you wun even bother a single bit bout me anymore kay?

Hmm.

I said I was wrong.
I tot,nvm. Shall use assume.
I seriously assume everything was alright.
As in,it doesn't matter if I existed in your lifes.

Why?

Coz,every post I see is happy news.
Every thing I saw was gud news.
I didn't felt I was needed at all.
So why bother appearin suddenly?
You would wonder for sure suddenly appear sure up 2 no gud.
So why shud I appear?
I rather stand behind and see all dats going on.

Its not dat I don't wanna ask how r u.
Probably all of dis will sound like an excuse.
I did try to say dat..
the thing is, you already ave everyone's,
I juz doesn't seem important at that time.

I wanted to suggest a place dat could help wif your dad,
but you would juz think why so suddenly I appear.
I ask my parents for suggestion,I got back none.

Like you said, I assumed everything.

I din turn back dis time round,
coz everytime I would end up shuttin myself again.
And again I would be pushin you all aside.
I din turn back to share anything,
coz I tot you would be thinkin 'sure ade hal again wun'

I wasn't in a position to ask anything
coz I shut myself away from you.
How would it seem suddenly goin back?
To you it would be up 2 no gud for sure.

True. I don't bother whu I meet thru on9.
For eg:
The person whu juz called me a bitch!
I shud ave understand him better b4 anything happen ryte?
Yea. I shud not ave juz base on feelings ryte?
Thats why he WAS my accesory.
(hate me all you wish.beh song me come kill me.i don't care anymore)

All I can say is my accesory was friggin wrong on the part where he ave other gals.. like wud? Kyla? yea. I remember wud you said you noe. I realise who was tellin the truth and whu wasn't.

I'm sry I din intro him, the only reason was you all dun approve of him.
The reason all my coll mates noe him is coz dey dun care whu I'm wif.

I ain't important anymore I tot.
My existance meant nothing I tot.
Seeing the 3 or 4 of you togather.

Like I said. I tot I was ardy being given up.
Hence, I gave up tryin as well.

*~MaeYan~* ♥6:47 PM

short msg:

I don't know if I should explain myself dis time.
Come to think of it, I was wrg in many ways.

I wasn't there when I said I would be.
I don't even noe if I ask you out would you bother.
Hence,I din even try.

I wonder many times how to ask you.
How are things going on now?
But I realise I'm not in the position to ask.


I asked my fwen for a Jap class num juz for you.
In the end, I din noe how to pass to you.
I tot you would not care,as you ardy ave one.

He is important,dat I don't deny.
Its merely an extension to my list.
You are olwiz in that list.
Guess I never did anything to prove dat part.

I noe I won't get your blessings sincerely.
As it olwiz seem to be me dumping one and den gettin another.
But wud happen to ' I still x give up hope on you yet '

I was ardy being given up long time ago.
I don't know how to turn for help anymore.

Probably, I deserve being alienated.
Yet, I was hurt.
I tried tokin to you. I really did.
All dat happen was off9, no reply, appear again later.
I waited n waited.
I gave up. As you already gave up on me.

I have loads to tell and ask.
I guess you won't even bother.
I kept everything up again.

Pls do not say his an accesory.
He never was.

ps: sry it turn out to be an awfully long post.

*~MaeYan~* ♥6:39 PM

23.12.2008


Family potrait of that nite.
YeeLer n Xing - Mummy & Daddy

In just a short period of time, a couple became fwen, mummy's hardly around.
What remain the same was,frisbee team still consist of us all. =)

*~MaeYan~* ♥2:19 PM

Short msg:

I fail badly to keep to my word..

I'm still NOT being careful enough.. =(


Got both my thumb bruised.. and sumwhere near my ankle too..

Urgh~

I MUST be extremely careful this friday..


if not baby's gonna kill me T_T

ps: did badly for law =(

*~MaeYan~* ♥11:37 PM

Tak sampai hati open up the clothes yet.. So paiseh ar.. Can't show the design..

Anyway~ off to bed.. DEAD tired.. Kinda glad I din go badminton earlier.. If not I think die liow lorh =x hehe.. Next time I join kay =)

ps: baby can cook! D; habis lah the kitchen =x

*~MaeYan~* ♥11:39 PM

Short msg:
17.5.08

Notice the year? Yea.. 2008 =x Super backdated..


*~MaeYan~* ♥11:16 PM

Short msg:

What day is it today? Its..

APRIL FOOL~


ps: miss those days where we tend to fool each other.

*~MaeYan~* ♥12:09 AM