Short msg:

Its been a very very unlucky day.. ishkk~~ why? coz ryte..

1. I got a tiny weeny super effin small wood in my index finger -_-"
the c2pid thingy just won't come out? ftw haihzz.. And its seriously missin inside there sumwhere jor.. T-T *sniff* how how? wuhuuuu~~

2.I have measels -_______________-
ftw? omg.. This wun was super unexpected lehhh.. Suddenly in the afternoon lidat I started itchin all over? I tot mayb juz itchy lahh.. biasa lorhh den.. xpeh sia~ den it got worst o____o I tot mayb coz nyamuk gigit? why? coz got small small dots like mosquito bites.. urghhh~~!! see see dinner time.. daddy say most probz measels.. got ask granny and see..

See See.. really =___= ape ni lahhh.. exam round the corner nia lehh.. haihz~!! suan leh lahh.. took med jor.. now super drowsy @_@ pifff~~!!

*~MaeYan~* ♥10:20 PM

Short msg:

Paiseh dat recently all the post kinda emo and all..? haha.. Seriously not in the best mood today.. Don't ask why.. anyway.. I'll update some pictures up A.S.A.P kay.. Pictures on latest happenin bah.. =)

p.s: Exam is only less den 5days away.. Even tho i'm not prepared at all.. I still wish everyone all the best xD jia you lehhh everyone.. ^^v~ add oil orhh.. we muz try our best to get out from CAT this sem.. We shall meet in ACCA the next sem.. hehe..

p.p.s: for fwenz dat havta stay another sem don't be sad.. we will olwiz be der when u nid us.. Mayb we might even havta wait for you all to move up togather lehh..

*~MaeYan~* ♥10:59 PM

I'm no longer sure of wud I'm duin le..
No longer have the will power anymore..
No matter what izzit now,I can't seem to know wud am I duin..
I don't know where will all this lead to..
I'm uncertain if I had made the ryte move in the 1st place,
it all seem so wrong now as I take a step into it..

I wish I knew how to answer you sumtimes..
I wish I did not started tokin to u in the 1st place..
I wish I knew wud to do now..

I'm so lost now..
Why muz u do this to me now..?
Why won't you gimme more time..?
Why.. Why..???

一切就如发了一场梦,一场很美妙的梦。
一旦醒过来时，就一无所有。

Once again I'm feeling weird all over.. Have the feelin that I might just succum soon.. My dear dear body pweaseee don't gibe up on me now T.T I still nid you badly to get thru my exam's.. sigh~

*~MaeYan~* ♥8:35 PM

#Edited
Afraid that if time gets better of me.. I would choose to run again..

I don't wanna bweak the pwomise I made.. Yet I'm afraid I'll avoid it T.T

fluck me lahhh T_____T ishkk~~

I soOoo wanna jump down the cliff now for my endless unset mind? LoL!

How how..?? =(

Some advice perhaps it should be done A.S.A.P

Hmm~ wud do u think? I'm kinda thinkin like soon.. as in seriously soon.. O____O

Sumtimes I really hate my stubborn attitude.. urgh~~

I guess during those time I was indeed blinded by the anger in me..? The feeling of being.....
yea..dat was den I guess..

Come to think of it.. why was I soOo pissed anyway? hmm.. Guess I noe why in a way? =/

ishkk~ i'm soOoo fickle minded now.. @.@

# I think I've set my mind lehh.. Its best solved quickly.. Sumtimes I can't stand the awkwardness.. but yet its there.. I've been runnin to looOoong jor.. its time for my pair of legs to rest.. =)

*~MaeYan~* ♥8:24 PM

short msg:
突然感觉.. 好累.. 好累。

一切仿佛已经停下来了。

我的时间慢慢的.. 消失了。

曾与你一起拥有的美好时光.. 流失了。

我得往前走。

的学习如何抛开。

*~MaeYan~* ♥1:22 AM

This may be a very very short post.. but all that matters is the sincerity of the post.. Therefore, I would like to take this opportunity to shout out loud..

HAPPY BIRTHDAY YingYing ^~^

*huggiesss & muacks~*

Big gurl jor lorh =D muz olwiz smile smile lehh.. waiit.. I mean muz olwiz stay cheerful lorhh ^^ Kennot show sad sad face de lehh.. Not leng lui de.. =x hehe.. Also JiaYou for coming finals.. All the best~! XD hehe..

p.s: Paiseh its such a short post =/

*~MaeYan~* ♥12:00 AM

It seems too real to be true. Yet it doesnt have to be false.

Will this feeling end?

Will it all come to an end? Or is this just merely the beginning?

Wishing it will last.

Is this feeling ever gonna last?

熊猫仔，一切都如你说的吗？每一句话都是事实吗？

*~MaeYan~* ♥8:51 PM

short msg:

Certified Brain DEAD

*~MaeYan~* ♥9:48 PM

A couple of issues lingered at the corner of my mind.
Brushing it aside seems to be the only choice I have now.
No other alternatives are available for the time being.

Leaving it lingering in my mind is not a wise move.
Yet,that seems to be the best move now.

No matter which issue am I referring to now.
I made a promise to myself..
.. the most important will be solved once exams are over.

I know that I'm running away from the fact.
But how long will I be able to run..?
Certain things are best solved immediately.

Yet here I am dragging it for ages.
Yes. I will keep that promise I made..
.. for I cannot afford to lose an important friend.

Too much time had been wasted.
Too many foolish move had been made.
For now this is the best move I believe.

Put a little fate in me. Believe and trust me.
I will have the courage to face it when exams are over.

The other issue can only be solve..
.. when the important ones are being solved.

I believe that a certain amount of time will come to a standstill for us.
I believe everything would come to a happy ending.
I believe our bond will be strengthen.

I believe this is not the ending..
..this is the beginning of a long lasting friendship.

*~MaeYan~* ♥11:14 PM

我.. 选择了逃避。
逃避一切。

害怕.. 曾经拥有会一一消失。
更害怕面对后果。

朋友.. 是一辈子的。

曾经拥有会比一无所有好吗?

时间.. 是不等人的。更不会回到过去。
珍惜现再才是重要的。

过去的一切虽难忘，可也得暂时忘掉。
虽然，伤口不会完全的康复。可，总比血流满地的好。

现在，你我都必须把握时间。
我们两都明白如经甚麽比较重要。
一切就等完毕了再说。

*~MaeYan~* ♥8:30 PM

在痛苦中，我不想在否认。我的确是有打开。可我没看内容，我知道看下去.. 对你，对我，都没好处。

当天，我选着了逃避。一直到如经，我还是在逃避要面对你的事实。对他，也只是当时一会儿的
兴趣。

说真的，在无选着的地步下，我宁可还有我们一直以来的友亲。好想念开朗的我们。。更想念与你有说不完的话题。

不知从何事开时，我们之间多了一道墙壁。我们真的要任由这道墙把我们一直亲密的感情给毁了吗？难道一切就如烟花？只要趁灿烂过就已足够了？

时间.. 可以冲淡一切，更可以把我们的要好感亲也给拉远。我不甘心.. 真的好不甘心我们的友亲如此的经不起考验。

我好想知道.. 我们的这分感情还有的挽救吗？你肯打开心门吗？让我们把所有的一切一切解决好吗？

虽是一道非常难走的路..但我有信心凭我们两倔强的性格，一定可以走完这条路。我想..你也不想看着我们的这一份友亲这样就结束吧？

*~MaeYan~* ♥12:00 AM

omg.. !@#!% I just can't believe it.. urgh~~!!! fluckz lahhh.. T_T wuhuuuu~!!!

There's a bloody lizard roaming free in my sis room.. ftw~ dat is like.. soOooOo totally ryte beside my room? *wailss~!!!* I wan cry d lahhh.. *sobssss*

Most of you shud know ryte.. how friggin sked am I of that tiny little thingy.. V_______V I can just die knowing dat anytime the lizard would decided to come creepin into my room..

Imagine in the morning suddenly wake up.. and see a pair of small beady eyes blinkin back at you.. I tell you I sure scream till the entire neighbourhood wakes up lorhh..

AHhhhhHH~~!!!! I'm just effin sked of dat thingyy.. wuHUhuuu~~~!!!!!!!!!

Linggyyy ar.. Y____Y why did you let a lizard into your room lahh.. You do realise your like just next to my room nia? *criesss* How am I even gonna sleep tonite lahhh -____-" omg..~!!!

*~MaeYan~* ♥9:23 PM

*oopss~* I soOoo totally forgotten that today's my dear dear Kor's birthday ^~^

HAPPY BURFDAY ALLEN kor kor~~!! *huggiesss*

Someone old jor lorh.. wauKAkaka =x

When are u coming down KL again lahh..? quite sometime din see you jor ='( *sniff sniff*

*~MaeYan~* ♥6:41 PM

I'm starting to wonder wud-the-heck is wrong with me..?

Why am I giving out cold treatments..?

It doesn't make sense at all..

Its most certainly not helping in closing the void..

Something has gone wrong sumwhere inside my head..

Maybe a loosen screw?

urgh~~!

*~MaeYan~* ♥6:36 PM

I-can't-explain-this-weird-feeling

[[ 如今，我只能怀念。怀念和我发信息直到深夜的你。怀念你坚定而真诚地对我说的那一句：我爱你。]]

*~MaeYan~*

♥8:59 PM

A gentle wind nearby send a piled of freshly raked dried leaves into a swirl of tornado. Admiring it from the porch,Serresa let out a long sigh. A sigh so heart wrenching mades people wonder whats worries the pretty brunette have encounter.

Millions of thoughts ran through her mind. A frown could be seen across her beautifully featured face. Thinking back of the days happening. Serresa could not help wondering was this the path she really wants.

Little scars and wounds here and there might have sealed itself up as time passes by. Yet an unpredictable fall would unseal the wound,leaving it to bleed.

The existence of this void is actually increasing in depth. Serresa knew too well that both parties had been refraining. Neither would any try crossing the line drawn by themself. A line only visible by the involving party.

Silent tears rolled down her rosy cheek,how she wished things had never change,they were as it was. Another rustled of leaves brought her back to reality. The past had been memorable.

She knew fairly well her own attitude. Her cold harshness rubbing aside all concerns. She knew that there is one particular scar that would not heal in time course. Yet,she's determine for it to be healed.

*~MaeYan~* ♥12:12 AM

眼眶湿润

我的家在一个偏僻的山村,父母都是面朝黄土背朝天的农民.我有一个小我三岁的弟弟.有一次我为了买女孩子们都有的花手绢,偷偷拿了父亲抽屉里5毛钱.父亲当天就发现钱少了,就让我们跪在墙边,拿着一根竹竿,让我们承认到底是谁偷的.我被当时的情景吓傻了,低着头不敢说话.父亲见我们都不承认,说那两个一起挨打.说完就扬起手里的竹竿,忽然弟弟抓住父亲的手大声说,爸,是我偷的,不是姐干的,你打我吧!父亲手里的竹竿无情地落在弟弟的背上,肩上,父亲气得喘不过气来,打完了坐在炕上骂道:"你现在就知道偷家里的,将来长大了还了得?我打死你这个不争气的." 当天晚上,我和母亲搂着满身是伤痕的弟弟,弟弟一滴眼泪都没掉.半夜里,我突然号啕大哭,弟弟用小手捂住我的嘴说,姐,你别哭,反正我也挨完打了.

我一直在恨自己当时没有勇气承认,事过多年,弟弟为了我挡竹竿的样子我仍然记忆犹新.那一年,弟弟8岁,我11岁.

弟弟中学毕业那年,考上了县里的重点高中.同时我也接到了省城大学的录取通知书.那天晚上,父亲蹲在院子里一袋一袋地抽着旱烟,嘴里还叨咕着,俩娃都这么争气,真争气.母亲偷偷地抹着眼泪说争气有啥用啊,拿啥供啊?弟弟走到父亲面前说,爸,我不想念了,反正也念够了.父亲一巴掌打在弟弟的脸上,说,你咋就这么没出息?我就是砸锅卖铁也要把你们姐俩供出来.说完转身出去挨家借钱.我抚摸着弟弟红肿的脸说,你得念下去,男娃不念书就一辈子走不出这穷山沟了.弟弟看着我,点点头.当时我已经决定放弃上学的机会了.

没想到第二天天还没亮,弟弟就偷偷带着几件破衣服和几个干巴馒头走了,在我枕边留下一个纸条:姐,你别愁了,考上大学不容易,我出去打工供你.弟.

我握着那张字条,趴在炕上,失声痛哭.那一年,弟弟17岁,我20岁.

我用父亲满村子借的钱和弟弟在工地里搬水泥挣的钱终于读到了大三.一天我正在寝室里看书,同学跑进来喊我,梅子,有个老乡在找你.怎么会有老乡找我呢?我走出去,远远地看见弟弟,穿着满身是水泥和沙子的工作服等我.我说,你咋和我同学说你是我老乡啊?

他笑着说,你看我穿的这样,说是你弟,你同学还不笑话你?

我鼻子一酸,眼泪就落了下来.我给弟弟拍打身上的尘土,哽咽着说你本来就是我弟,这辈子不管穿成啥样,我都不怕别人笑话.

他从兜里小心翼翼地掏出一个用手绢包着的蝴蝶发夹,在我头上比量着,说我看城里的姑娘都戴这个,就给你也买一个.我再也没有忍住,在大街上就抱着弟弟哭起来.那一年,弟弟20岁,我23岁.

我第一次领男朋友回家,看到家里掉了多少年的玻璃安上了,屋子里也收拾得一尘不染.男朋友走了以后我向母亲撒娇,我说妈,咋把家收拾得这么干净啊?母亲老了,笑起来脸上像一朵菊花,说这是你弟提早回来收拾的,你看他手上的口子没?是安玻璃时划的.

进弟弟的小屋里,看到弟弟日渐消瘦的脸,心里很难过.他还是笑着说,你第一次带朋友回家,还是城里的大学生,不能让人家笑话咱家.

我给他的伤口上药,问他,疼不?

他说,不疼.我在工地上,石头把脚砸得肿得穿不了鞋,还干活儿呢……说到一半就把嘴闭上不说了.
我把脸转过去,哭了出来.那一年,弟弟23岁,我26岁.

我结婚以后,住在城里,几次和丈夫要把父母接来一起住,他们都不肯,说离开那村子就不知道干啥了.弟弟也不同意,说姐,你就全心照顾姐夫的爸妈吧,咱爸妈有我呢.

丈夫升上厂里的厂长,我和他商量把弟弟调上来管理修理部,没想到弟弟不肯,执意做了一个修理工.

一次弟弟登梯子修理电线,让电击了住进医院.我和丈夫去看他.我抚着他打着石膏的腿埋怨他,早让你当干部你不干,现在,摔成这样,要是不当工人能让你去干那活儿吗?

他一脸严肃地说,你咋不为我姐夫着想着想呢?他刚上来,我又没文化,直接就当官,给他造成啥影响啊?

丈夫感动得热泪盈眶,我也哭着说,弟啊,你没文化都是姐给你耽误了.他拉过我的手说,都过去了,还提它干啥?

那一年,弟弟26岁,我29岁.

弟弟30岁那年,才和一个本分的农村姑娘结了婚.在婚礼上,主持人问他,你最敬爱的人是谁,他想都没想就回答,我姐.

弟弟讲起了一个我都记不得的故事:我刚上小学的时候,学校在邻村,每天我和我姐都得走上一个小时才到家.有一天,我的手套丢了一只,我姐就把她的给我一只,她自己就戴一只手套走了那么远的路.回家以后,我姐的那只手冻得都拿不起筷子了.从那时候,我就发誓我这辈子一定要对我姐好.

台下一片掌声,宾客们都把目光转向我.

我说,我这一辈子最感谢的人是我弟.在我最应该高兴的时刻,我却止不住泪流满面.

*~MaeYan~* ♥10:00 PM

Second attempt~ the beginnin structure? hehe =)

continuation with 2nd deck of cards~

Finally~ the top of the top.. kekekeke.. xDand this is how the top looks like.. super unstable lookin ryte? @_@

hehe.. so this is wud I did in college instead of staDing.. =S die die

*~MaeYan~*

♥9:03 PM

This stowie I found from the net.. I felt that no matter how frustrated you are with you loved one.. never try to ignore them for too long.. Don't just think they will eventually come back to you.. It may be too late..

一个女生看了会哭，男生看了会沉默的文章

有那么一对情侣.女孩很漂亮,非常善解人意,偶尔时不时出些坏点子耍耍男孩.男孩很聪明,也很懂事,最主要的一点.幽默感很强.总能在2个人相处中找到可以逗女孩发笑的方式.

女孩很喜欢男孩这种乐天派的心情.他们一直相处不错,女孩对男孩的感觉,淡淡的,说男孩象自己的亲人.男孩对女孩爱甚深,非常非常在乎她.所以每当吵架的时候,男孩都会说是自己不好,自己的错.即使有时候真的不怪他的时候,他也这么说.他不想让女孩生气. 　　

就这样过了5年,男孩仍然非常爱女孩,象当初一样. 　　

有一个周末,女孩出门办事,男孩本来打算去找女孩,但是一听说她有事,就打消了这个念头.他在家里呆了一天,他没有联系女孩,他觉得女孩一直在忙,自己不好去打扰他.谁知女孩在忙的时候,还想着男孩,可是一天没有接到男孩的消息,她很生气.

晚上回家后,发了条信息给男孩,话说得很重.甚至提到了分手.当时是晚上12点. 　　

男孩心急如焚,打女孩手机,连续打了3次,都给挂断了.打家里电话没人接,猜想是女孩把电话线拔了.
男孩抓起衣服就出门了,他要去女孩家.当时是12点25.女孩在12点40的时候又接到了男孩的电话,从手机打来的,她又给挂断了.

一夜无话.男孩没有再给女孩打电话. 　　

第2天,女孩接到男孩母亲的电话,电话那边声泪俱下.男孩昨晚出了车祸.警方说是车速过快导致刹车不急,撞到了一辆坏在半路的大货车.救护车到的时候,人已经不行了. 　　

女孩心痛到哭不出来,可是再后悔也没有用了.她只能从点滴的回忆中来怀念男孩带给她的欢乐和幸福.女孩强忍悲痛来到了事故车停车场,她想看看男孩呆过的最后的地方.车已经撞得完全不成样子.

方向盘上,仪表盘上,还沾有男孩的血迹.男孩的母亲把男孩当时身上的遗物给了女孩,钱包,手表,还有那部沾满了男孩鲜血的手机.女孩翻开钱包,里面有她的照片,血渍浸透了大半张. 　　

当女孩拿起男孩的手表的时候,赫然发现,手表的指针停在12点35分附近.女孩瞬间明白了,男孩在出事后还用最后一丝力气给她打电话,而她自己却因为还在堵气没有接.男孩再也没有力气去拨第2遍电话了,他带着对女孩的无限眷恋和内疚走了. 　

女孩永远不知道,男孩想和她说的最后一句话是什么.女孩也明白,不会再有人会比这个男孩,更爱她了！

*~MaeYan~* ♥11:59 PM

我發誓再也不為誰流眼淚

冬天寒冷飄冽的日子過去了，轉眼間春天來了，迎接著第一縷陽光的到來
心裏暖暖的 正月十五去看煙花 很美好的感覺
煙花綻放在天空一瞬間再墜落
有種想要哭的沖動

不想要時間前進 想靜止在一瞬間 停留住那時的一切
可是都將成為過去

走在風中今天陽光突然很溫柔
然後把你的改變孤獨的背後
天邊風光都不在你眼中
我從來都不懂得
你的世界就要你擁有
孤單的是我的溫柔
不知道不明了不詳要
為什麽我的心

每一次想靠近 卻孤單到黎明
那愛情的綺麗 卻總是在孤獨裏
卻把我最好的愛給你

今生今世不再為任何人流淚
不再叫任何人看到我的孤獨
孤獨是自己的 自己慢慢體會的 不要別人來分享
是自私 是無奈 是空虛 都好
都不要去迎接 因為沒有勇氣去面對
只能選擇逃避 做一個逃避者
或許會笑
笑沒勇氣

不想要放棄
但是 . . . 怕被傷害

*~MaeYan~* ♥11:03 PM

Pictures and other happenings will be posted up another day.. as for now.. before the clock ticks 12.. I havta do this very important post.. =) hehe..

Wondering wuds DingDing n Billy duin?

BEHOLD~~~!!!

Once the fon was being answered by the person.. this was wud they did..

HAPPY BURFDAY CHIN HAN~~!!! ^^

hehe.. yep yepz.. I was one of them whu wished him over the fon.. at a very late time? haha.. I initially tot was yesterday lehhh =x paiseh paiseh o.. hehe..

So Leng Zai~! you dai gor jor lorhh.. don't keep thinkin of biting and strangling ppl only orh =p hehe.. guai guai lorhh.. sang seng lorhh.. hahahha!!! ohyar.. most importantly staD lehhh!!! xD

p.s:exam coming liow.. staD ppl.. get motivated =D and jia you jia you ^^v~

*~MaeYan~*

♥9:31 PM

sometimes I wished all of this had never happened.

but sadness and sorrow are part of life's parcel.

it comes togather with happiness and joy.

how I wished there is a time machine.

enabling me to undo all regrets made.

yet after that happens,everything would take a 360degree changes.

changes too strong to withhold perhaps?

its foolish tryin to cling onto something.

something not meant for you.

wish I had the power to correct you. perhaps I do.

certain things are best left untold.

finding out the secret within it might just be the most beautiful thing left to be done.

*~MaeYan~* ♥10:56 PM

due to the fact that there are a couple of b-a-n-a-n-a-s reading my blog.. and bising why in chinese.. hence.. I decided to gibe this link here. ohyar.. gotta warn u all first lorhh.. translation sure super cacat wun.. after all its like direct translation? haha.. + I super lazey to do it myself =x so bear wif it dulu kay? hehe..

*~MaeYan~* ♥9:54 PM

Presenting dear dear LeeMei~~ *huggiesss* (paiseh pic blur blur) Enjoyed kai kai with you dat day ^^ hehe.. even tho it was seriously super hawt + tiring.. haha.. and very sakit hati seeing those baju cheaper at another stall.. 2dollar.. meaning RM4.60 lehhh!!! sakit hati lorhh~ sigh~~

Next time we shall go sumwhere else kai kai kay =) sumwhere wif air-con.. lalala~ maybe vivo city.. hmm~ xD hehe..

*~MaeYan~* ♥9:15 PM

Originally wanted to post something else.. but decided against it.. so guess that post can wait aye? =p hehe.. Anyway~

Introducing the vain Berry~~~!!!

hehe~ kute ryte?? keke.. shall get cookie's picture soon =p

*~MaeYan~*

♥8:58 PM

我是你最爱的丫头

倘若有一天我死了，你会再娶其它女人么？”我记得问这话是在我与君的结婚一周年纪念日上。那时，他正忙着与锅里的鲜鱼对战，根本无暇理睬我。

“啊？哦，也许会吧！这得等你真死了才能说。”“什么？”我佯怒，从他身后抱住他：“你就这么讨厌我啊？”

君笑，关上火转身抱我：“傻丫头，我答应过你不骗你。如果我说不娶可我后来娶了，不就骗了你么？”

我也笑，躲在他怀里，快乐得像只小鸟“好吧，准你娶她。不过，不许她碰我那些漂亮娃娃。”“为什么？”

“因为，那是你送我的爱的信物，死后啊，我要在那儿看着你！”“哇！好恐怖啊！”君大笑地抱紧我“傻孩子，你的命啊，长着呢！”

现在，我就活在这堆娃娃里，我想象不到短短十天，我便真的与君阴阳相隔。　　

我是死于车祸的。一切来的那么突然。那时，我正盘算着周末我们要去哪儿旅行，那车就飞速冲来了。其实，没什么很大的痛楚，清醒时，我看到人们七手八脚的把我抬上救护车，只觉得好笑，因为我知道那是多余的。意识到自己的死亡，我一点也不难过。我一向没什么朋友，只有君。现在仍可以陪着君，看着君就行了。管他是什么样的形态呢。想到这儿，我便大步走回家。

家门前，我犹豫了。我记得以前听说魂是可以越墙而入的。我试了试，居然成功了！这令我兴奋不已，又来回再试了几次。嘿，做魂也没什么不好的。起码钥匙省了！　　

进到屋内，我逛了一圈，君还没有回来。突然想起，这是上班时间。于是又在屋内不停的溜弯儿。欣赏我们的房子是我生前最爱做的事儿。当然，死后也不例外。虽然，这间屋子，我已再熟悉不过。因为，在这儿，我渡过了我一生中最幸福最快乐的375日。至今，我还记得结婚那天，君在家门前望着我的表情。他说：“丫头，以后这就是我们的家了！我们的！”是啊，我和君的。从那天起，我便不停装扮它，直至今天，我再也无法为它效力为止。　　

我看到屋内的粉红色窗帘，卡通的大地毯和那堆了大半个卧室的娃娃。突然想起君每每抚摸我头发轻声说：“你真是个孩子。”时，那无奈又怜爱的样子。是啊，能把家弄像个玩具店，我不是孩子又是什么呢？只可惜再也看不到群在说这话时的表情了。　　

我叹了口气，回到娃娃堆坐下。不知不觉中竟睡着了。醒来时，已是天黑。我感到了一丝寒气。使抱怨起君竟然忘了把我抱回暖烘烘的被窝。这才猛然想起，我已从君的生命中消失了，而且是很彻底的。我起身，开始绕着屋子找他，最后是在卫生间里找到我心爱的君的。　　

他趴在浴缸上，旁边摆着许多空酒瓶，地上被吐得乱七八糟，一股刺鼻的味儿飘散在空气中。我不悦地捏着鼻子，蹲下来看他。竟发现他脸上挂着泪痕。天！我的君会哭？！那个坚强无比的他竟然哭了！多不可思议啊！我试图拉起他，可手却穿越了他的身体！我试了一次又一次，在筋疲力尽后，我决定放弃。头一次，我知道自己是这么无能的。在我的君如此痉时，我连拉他一把的能力都没有。这样的妻子要来何用呢？　　
我轻轻吻了吻他的嘴唇，在他的身边坐下。除了这样陪他，我想不到还有什么其它的办法。　　
“丫头，不要走，不要……”我听见君在叫我。我知道他是说醉话了。我笑：“傻瓜，我这么爱你，怎会舍得离你而去呢？” 　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　 　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　 　　　　　　　
一个月后，日子渐渐恢复正常。我的君仍旧准时准点的上下班，只是不再爱笑；而我，也依旧是那个快乐的小主妇，乖乖的呆在家陪我的娃娃们，只是君不曾发觉；我们还是那样过着属于我们两个人的日子，屋内的一切都没有改变过。直到有一天，玲的出现。　　
玲按门铃时，群正在书房里加班做他的计划书，我则在一旁傻呵呵的陪他。我想不出在夜里这个时候会有什么人来访？走到客厅，便看到性感的玲和呆呆的君。　　
这是我第一次见玲。她留着长长的卷发，穿着黑色的性感套装，化了很浓的妆。四周全是她身上散发出的香水味儿。我不禁低头看了看自己身上的娃娃裙和兔兔拖鞋。和她比，我是名符其实的孩子。　
　
“我搬来了。”听到玲这样说，我才注意到她身边的行李袋。搬来？住哪儿？我和君的家么？我奇怪的望着她。　
　
“别胡闹，你给我回去声”君似乎在发火。我头一次看到君发火的样子，很凶。我害怕。　
　
“凭什么？你老婆都死了，难道我们现在不应该正大光明了吗？”

玲笑得很灿烂，可我觉得很冷 “瞧！你老婆死得多好啊。多会挑时间啊。连离婚都省得你和她说了……”“啪！”我看见君打了玲一巴掌。我惊呆了！君怎么会打人呢？他平时连骂一声都不曾有过的。如此温柔的君竟然会打人？他还有多少是我不曾知道的？？　
　
“哼！现在打我？！以前在我床上对我甜言蜜语的日子，你忘记了是吧！你可别忘了，你是答应过我和你老婆离婚娶我的！……”离婚？！君想和我离婚么？他不爱凶？他竟要娶玲？我怎么一点也不曾发觉？玲再说的话，我已一个字都听不进去。我跌跌撞撞的走回我的娃娃堆。抱着它们。我觉得鼻子酸酸的，一股热浪从眼里涌了出来。　　

原来，魂也会流泪啊！玲就这样搬进了我和君的家，像个女主人一样睡在我和君的床上，不同的只是君搬去了客厅。她换掉我的卡通地毯和粉红窗帘。拿走我衣橱里的娃娃裙和鞋架上的兔兔鞋。她把它们通通扔到垃圾箱里。　　

君什么也不说，只默默地把它们捡回来，洗干净，再放进我深爱的娃娃堆里。然后连续不断的对我说：“丫头，对不起，我对不起你啊！”我望着君，心疼的掉泪。可我不愿原谅他！我无法接受我和君的生活中，出现一个莫明其妙的玲。她像个女皇一样在我和君的屋子里指手划脚，把我一点点挤出去；把我曾精心装扮的小屋变成她的家。尤其让我无法忍受的是，君的欺骗。他为了玲欺骗我！他说过不会骗我的，连我死后的事儿都不愿意欺骗的君，为什么会在我还在人世时，就和玲在一块儿呢？一瞬间，我与君有过的幸福日子显得那么苍白无力。　
　
“这堆垃圾给我扔了！”玲指着我的鼻尖对君说。我看了看四周，明白了，她指的是我的宝贝娃娃。这些都是君送我的。是我们每一次快乐的纪念。第一次约会，第一次做饭，第一次接吻……我们都异常珍惜。还说以后要留给孩子看，告诉他们爸爸妈妈有多么幸福，可如今……天！我看到了什么？君在收拾它们！他要扔掉它们么？他忘了我说过我活在娃娃堆里么？他真的不要我了？一点也再想念他的丫头？我拼命的摇头，却阻止不了他的动作。　　

君把娃娃收做一堆时，玲很满意地笑了：“快点，扔了它们，我们得忘了过去，开始新的生活了。”君看了看玲，并不理睬她。只很温柔的在每个娃娃的脸上都亲上一口，像以前亲吻我那样。“玲，你走吧！我求你了！离开我和丫头的家！我不会扔了它们，也不能扔了它们！我的丫头活在里面，她在看着我啊！”玲愤怒的望着君：“你说过，你爱我，你是我的！”“不是，不是！对不起，我骗了你，骗了丫头，更骗了我自己！”君失声痛哭“我只爱丫头，只爱她一个啊！任何人都代替不了她，可是，我明白的太晚了……”我奔上前，像以前一样抱住他的后背。泪水横飞，我不能不原谅他啊！不久，玲搬走了。像来时那样匆忙。连声再见都没和君说。我想她是伤心的，我看着她忧郁的背影想为她做些什么，可有心无力。我不恨她，只希望她以后一切都可以很好。就像我不恨君一样，我知道爱一旦深入骨髓，就不懂怎么会恨了。 　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　
玲走后，又恢复以前宁静而冷清的日子。君把我们的屋子恢复原样。没事儿时便捧着我的照片发呆。要不就一夜接一夜的不停工作。他把自己封闭起来。看着他日渐清瘦的脸庞，我心里说不出是什么滋味儿。欣便是在那时候闯入了君的生活。欣与君的相识平淡无奇。那日，欣刚搬到隔壁的空屋，可保险丝断了，便来向君借。我知道君看到欣时愣住了，因为我也愣住了。欣与我长得出奇的像。只是眉宇间多了份成熟。我看到君抱紧欣叫她丫头时，欣莫名又尴尬的表情。忍不住大笑。我的君竟然也有此等愚笨的时候！从此，欣和君便开始了似有似无的交往。　　

欣是个很温柔的女人。与创造性幼稚的我是完全不同的。她常在我和君的小屋出入，为君收拾房子，做出可口的饭菜，但从不过夜。我就那么每天坐在娃娃堆里，看着她擦拭我的照片，打扫娃娃身上的灰尘，看她不厌其烦的听君讲我和他的故事……　　

我打了个很大的哈欠，我想我呆乏了，或许应该换个地方。 　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　 　　　
君和欣的婚礼是那么自然。我甚至没有一丝嫉妒。婚后的欣像以前一样，她没改变房中任何一点小摆设，包括我那堆曾被玲称为垃圾的娃娃们。望着她每日奔波忙碌的样子，我觉得像是一幅温馨而美丽的画。突然间发现我已是那么多余了。可是，我不愿离开君。　　

欣怀孕了。这令君兴奋不已。初为人父的喜悦是无法言语的。他像当初娇惯我一般宠着欣，甚至有过之而无不及。　　

我想欣是幸福的。可我又该如何呢？这个的问题一直困惑着我，直到那日。　　

那天，君外出了。我看到欣站在娃娃堆前摸着肚子自言自语“宝宝，你会很幸福的，因为你有两个妈妈疼。”然后，她摸了摸娃娃的脸蛋：“丫头，你也很疼我们的宝宝的。对么？”我明白了，欣不是自言自语，而是在对我说。　　

我释然了。站起来，伸了个大懒腰。窗外明媚的阳光透过玻璃照在我的身上，暖洋洋的。我知道，宝宝只会有一个妈妈疼。便起身离开我心爱的娃娃们，我相信，很快会再见的。数月后，君与欣生下一漂亮的女儿，取名叫丫头

如果我還一直深愛著你...你是否還會待在我身邊?
如果我還一直在乎著你...你是否會再多看我一眼?
是否我已不存在了...你才感覺的到我的離開?
是否我已離開了....你才感覺的到我對你的好?

*~MaeYan~* ♥7:37 PM

crap.. I'm back to the habit of posting few times a day ~_~ urghh~~ One minute you see me posting few times a day.. Next thing you know maybe only once a week.. haha.. I sot sot jor lehh.. @_@ but den when ingat wanna post or voice out sumthing best do it at once wud o.o

Anyway~ here goes..

A story of Him n Her

All unfamiliar faces surrounded her when she walked into the school. For once in many years, fear crept up her spines. Joining into the crowd trying to blend in. She stood up among the group, failing miserably.

For a couple of days/weeks/months,she led a quiet and lonely life. All in her mind was to score for the exams. Little did she knew things would have change by a little miscevious.

She knew all this while he had a gal he cared for. That didn't stop her trying to get close with him. Staying as friends were all they wanted. Yet things doesn't seem to go according to how they wanted it.

Suddenly the ground caved in,revealing a deep and dark pit only seeable by their own eyes. It was the pit of love. Both feel so deep down without realising the consequences that would come.

Yes. She betrayed her guy for him. He betrayed his gal for her.

Typically ironic? Love is blind after all.

Naive her thought that eternity are meant for them. She believed that distances would not pull them apart. She trusted that no one would be able to spilt them up.

Only to find out,distances did create a void between them. A void so great that it shocked her. Even though no third party appearance had broken them up,it was still someone that did. Disturbed that he made the sole decision.

They once promised on sharing everything togather,going through all the difficult path togather. Yet he broke all the promised that night. He shattered the dream they once shared togather.

Sometime had passed since they decided to walk their own path. Finally a message she had wish would come really did came. Only difference was she did not feel the anxiety upon receiving it.

She did think twice before giving him an answer. An answer that left him feeling emotionless. If only he had been persistent. If only he was willing to start going after her again.

Time ticked by slowly,she soon found someone in her life. Someone willing to hear her endless rant. Someone willing to scold her without hesitation. Someone willing to entertain the crazy her. That was all it required to made her feel loved again.

That someone was suppose to be very final dream. Yet again and again all was lost to distances and differences and lack of time. That was it required to shattered her dream into a million tiny bits.

All this while,she was still concious of him. Why won't he make a move? She feels worried for his health and safety. She wished he did not made that decision that night. Perhaps things would be different then.

All this while,trying to act nothing happened. Yet she knew it clearly in her mind. He had never given up hope on her. He had always wanted her back. Had been hoping to tell her how much she meant to him.

Chances are always there. One just has to grasp it.

She thought long and hard about it. It is glad to know that he still cares about her. She just wanted him to know that all this while she had been ignorant. She didn't want to give false hope to anyone. For she knew the door to her heart has been closed once and for all.

*~MaeYan~* ♥10:17 PM

Had one of the most disturbing sight today..

After picking my bro up from his usual bball practice.. While driving home I passby SMKDJ there lurh.. I saw sumthing lying on the road.. I tot maybe those big big tree leaf + branch drop down or so lurh.. So I made a mental note to avoid going over it..

and twank gawd I avoided it.. Lying on the road was the dead grey cat.. T.T *sniff* How could someone knock a cat down lehh.. Even if they have 9lifes also don't go bang them down lidat lahh.. sigh~

Imagine if I had gone over it.. ftw

This like the 2nd or 3rd time? I remember once was a white doggie sumore lehhh T____T Its seriously so disturbing that time I wanted to just brake and stop there that time.. I don't care if the behind car ram on me..

This time I was in shock.. but i still managed to control my emotions lurhh.. haihz~

*~MaeYan~* ♥7:25 PM

11th May

Most people would be busy celebrating MOTHER's Day and all..

but to me.. It would just be sum simple celebration perhaps?

no~! I'm not the organizer and will never be..

few close fwenz would know I never liked Her..

there's just too many happenings that never felt me favouring her..

yet she's still my mum..



I just realise it was the 11th.. and it actually meant something else too.. hmm~ wondering how are you feeling o.0 sick till gonna die muz tell me.. I sure go find you ;p *blweK~* wuaKAkaka =x klah duwan curse you YET =D



the feeling was weird.. I think I was smiling to myself!! O____O ftw~?

*~MaeYan~* ♥2:58 PM

Things HAD never been the same.

This time I'm pretty sure it WILL never be the same again.

I tried believing YOU. I did try.

Eventhough I never fully did,I thought YOU were trustable.

Alas~it had clearly struck me.

Why is it that YOU have to do this?

YOU knew it long time ago.

Yet YOU decided to fall into it.

I'm lost for words.

YOU assured me that nothing is going on.

Yet the way YOU put it made me felt it was a lie.

Yes. A beautiful lie.

I never really believed it was that simple. Only to know it was as I predicted.

I was trying to ignore the fact that I knew for sometime.

Tried a million times pushing it away from my mind.

I knew this would happen.

I fail to realise YOU would backstab me.

It hurts knowing YOU were the one who deceive me all this while.

I did a wise move when I first started suspecting.

He was being blocked out of my life.

The tiny gap open in my heart was being sealed. I knew it was the right move.

Now,after learning the truth I was glad I did that a long time ago.

I knew YOU had gone deep in. Unlike me He barely entered myne.

Tried avoid talking much to Him did help. Avoid confrontation helped more.

YOU would never admit it to me.

I rather YOU did.

It hurt me even more knowing YOU had lied to me.

I knew YOU didn't want me to find out. But the smile on YOUR face gave YOU away.

Yes I found out long ago.

Now I confirm it. Don't ask how did I confirmed it.

I just wished YOU told me about it.

At least I won't have felt backstab.

Think. YOU need someone to share all this with YOU.

I might not have the humour He had. But I'm YOUR GF YOU can count on.

I blocked all of Him totally out from my mind for now He's just an ordinary guy.

There's no denying that I had liked Him for sometime. There's just no point denying it.

Consider my dear~ We have to open up more.


Can't wait for YOU to come over. Soon I hope?

I really want to change things back as before.

Erase His existence.

YOU knew it was Him that had change us both.

*~MaeYan~* ♥2:05 PM

BoOo~! I'm back from SG liow.. xD hehe.. As most people shud know I was in SG since thrusday.. Been too busy shoppin to actually staD @_@ haihzzz.. die lurh.. lol.. Despite that I did even manage to walk at least 1 round of VIVO city,Tangs,JurongPoint,IMM,Takashimaya and many many more.. urghhh~~!!! Thats it I'm going der again during SG sales =D *winkwink* hehe.. after all their sales really sales lehhh.. =O

Of coz I met up wif dear dear LeeMei also lurh.. Din take much picture tho =/ sigh~~ but there is 1 or 2? I'll post it up another day lah.. ;p kekekex~

*~MaeYan~* ♥1:58 PM

(I-don't-know-how-to-spell-his-name =x)

introducing mitheart (I don't know how 2 spell his name..but yea dats who it sounded like) but~ His actually formally known as Kenya to us =p

Team Pheonix's own personal munkey =x

Wondering wuds with the 'proposin-dwinkin-water-pose'

Our team~ 3 cheers for us~!!! xD hehe.. Kodok~!!!

Hence it comes to an end for our day in UM~ Next we headed off to McD around 1+?? mm hmm~ lunchy time..

Half of our (me,ray,jodie,kenny) food.. ;p *blweK~**drools* yummy~~~ look at how many layers~ and the cheeseee~~~!! hahaa!!*. . . dot dot dot* speechless~

this only proves he has big mouth =x being able to fit the entire big mac in~

After finish eating we decided to sit around while waiting for the clock to chime at 3pm? haha.. why why whyyy lehh?

Jeng jeng jenggg~~~!!!

Behold~!!!!!!!!

The BIG MAC CHANT CHALLENGE is HERE~!!!! (this is so not a adv for McD)

With 7 'entry form' to participate in this challenge.. 2 fellow fwenz were being given the devoted job ;p lalala~ One is SS~!!! (syiok sendiri) Will the other is YeeLee? (dam I don't know how spell his name lehh @_@)SS~!! 2 entries were being made by him.. xD BRAVOO~~!! (even though both attempt failed =x)Introducing the guy of the day~!! yeelee?(sumthing lidat lahh) Note that the McD timer guy is seriously super panicky liow? hahahha!!!

Wanna know why? *grin* this is mainly because~~

*drum rolls*

*intermission*

LOL!!! anyway~ as I was saying the fellar super panic jor.. coz ryte.. he ardy gave out 4 free BigMac 'voucher' to him liow.. wauAKAKkakak~!!! thats 4 x Rm6+.. lalalala~~

there~ prove ;p *blweK~*

Note:in the end only managed to bagged 5? well~ the last attempt has to be another person.. sad sad~

Anyway~ that was wud happen on labour day xp

Today's Jay class was seriously abit notty? hahaha.. but funnie lahh.. More bout it will be up soon.. at least after I come back from SG lahh =D

*~MaeYan~*

♥7:17 PM

Short msg:

Take note people I won't be aorund from this thursday nite onwards till sunday? Hopefully will be back by then.. Duwan to miz T5 edc/efc.. Anyway,I'll be down in SG lurh.. ^^ LeeMei~~~!!! I'll contact you as soon as I reach or the next day morning lah kay.. XD so make sure free to go kai kai wif me orhh.. hehe.. As for all my other SG fwenz out there.. Wanna meet up? If so please leave me a contact? hahaha.. Doubt any would leave it in my taggy.. But leave a msg in taggy and I'll get back to you before I leave for SG.. =)

Anyway,had been havin 2 days of Jay's edc/efc for Audit? Mentally and physically exhausted liow lorh.. haihz.. Still got 1 more day to go =D hehe..

I'll try put up the pictures kay? I know I have extremely alot of back-dated pics.. @_@ Its pillin up more and more liow.. noooo~~!!

BTW!! Wanna take the opportunity here to wish Darren a VERY VERY BELATED HAPPY BIRTHDAY =D hehe.. Pictures of the day we celebrate for him after class could be found here . So check it out? Coz I think its abit time consumin to post here and there =x hehe..

More random pictures up soon.. most likely Labour day pictures? whu know's =p *blweK~*

*~MaeYan~* ♥8:42 PM